And 5 Other Ways To Support The Folx You Love
Recently, a family member I had not seen for a while casually asked me how “my girls” were doing. She meant well by the inquiry, I am sure. She probably did not realize her faux-pas, at least not at first.
In the past, I usually chose to correct this error politely by either skimming over it or by using the correct terminology in the following sentence. Maybe it went something like this; “How is your oldest? Is she still at college?”
“Well, yes thank you for asking. He is doing terrific at college!”
This time however I chose differently. Still being polite, I merely stated, “I don’t have “girls” so you must mean to be asking after my son and my daughter?”
There was a bit of a confused silence while this information was processed. In the meantime, I filled the space with, “They are both doing great! My son, Jace, just received a promotion at work. I think you chatted with Jace at my dad’s memorial service? And my daughter, Grace is establishing a wonderful life filled with college, friends, and work she enjoys.”
My son came out as transgender seven years ago, and my daughter identifies as queer. In order to support both of them, as the individuals they are, it is important for me to not only case correct terminology but also to correct others when a miss-step happens, as it inevitably will. Without shame for anyone. It is one way I support them 24/7, 365 days a year because I also love them that much!